The following NBC entertainment video is a segment of the April 1, 2013 episode of Jay Leno’s Tonight Show. It is a skit called “Headlines.” This is a regular Monday segment that is devoted highlighting various funny headlines, advertisements, and other things in print.
For Easter, the Green Sea Baptist Church will have a “live crucifixion.”
A headline says, “GOP Focus on Latino Outreach.” But the picture shows a politician talking to what appears to be a Muslim or Indian guy.
In Warsaw, Poland, a man discovered a screwdriver in his head.
“Martin’s Skinless Skankless Ham”
In a body shaper underwear ad, it says, “Go ahead. Eat some extra.”
An ad says the police raided an alleged meth lab at a house after investigating for months. The picture showed a house right next to the police station.
“Chokis” is a brand of chocolate chip cookies.
In an ad for an Easter egg hunt, it says the time is from 11 a.m. to 11:01 a.m.
A headline says there is a bridge closure date. It is either Thursday or October.
The next story is out of Lynnwood. It says a mom is upset about racy books in stores. Her name is Marci Milfs.
Something is giving stroke symptoms. But you have to unscramble the words to read the symptoms.
Lakeview Memorial Estates is in Bountiful, Utah. Their ad says if you want information on people buried in Lakeview, please contact them directly.
The next one is for a tornado drill in Wagner, Lake Andes, and Dante. It says that “Syrians” will blow.
There was an ad for Indika flea and tick killer. In the background, you can see a dog that is probably just sleeping but looks like it might be dead.
There was an ad asking if someone found their cow. Right below it, an ad says someone found the cow.
Safeway had an ad for Bar-S sliced bologna. You could get either the Regular or Tasty flavor.
After a fire, a headline read, “Porta potties reduced to steaming piles.”